love, adoption, photography, kids, me, friends, family

Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2011

Meth babies doing worse here than in the US


OK.. so those that don't know, when we were first rung to see if we wanted to adopt Amalie they said there was a slight "problem" being that she had been exposed to "P" in the womb. My heart sunk. I didn't want a "P baby", this wasn't in my plan of having a perfect baby girl - oh how naive was I!
We did as much research as we could in the days that followed and back then - 5 years ago there actually wasn't alot of factual information at all. So we took the chance. When she was born we had a specialist Dr check her over (not sure what I thought he would find - two heads maybe!! Oh how Naive!) he said "as far as I can see, in my professional opinion, at this stage in her life, there seems to be nothing wrong" OK I know he was kind of trying to cover his tracks.
Anyway to make a long story short this was published in the weekend and its an interesting read:


The first generation of New Zealand babies exposed to methamphetamine in the womb is reaching school age, and researchers are finding they are worse affected than babies in the United States.

Auckland University senior lecturer Dr Trecia Wouldes co-authored a study comparing 120 New Zealand women who used methamphetamine while pregnant to a group of US drug mothers.

New Zealand's methamphetamine is reportedly purer and stronger than the American form, and the New Zealand newborns were found to have worse scores for central nervous system stress and reflexes responses.

There were also more babies born with "hypertonicity" and "hypotonicity" – babies that are either too floppy or too rigid.

Central nervous system stress was indicated by higher than average hiccuping, spitting up, and very tight blinking.

"It's a sign your central nervous system has been affected by something," Wouldes said.

She said studies of older children exposed to methamphetamine in the womb showed changes in brain structure, particularly in areas that governed "executive functions" linked to learning.

At about age four, there started to be "significant differences in IQ and functional ability to learn" caused by inability to concentrate, sit quietly and "attend" to lessons.

Wouldes said she began enrolling babies in her study five years ago and some of the older ones were "definitely" showing signs of developmental difficulty.

The 120 mothers in the study all came from Auckland and Waitakere and were referred by midwives and neo-natal carers.

Of those referred, many had to be ruled out as too young, or for using too many other drugs.

Wouldes said prevalence of meth use during pregnancy was hard to gauge but one indicator was the difficulty in finding non-drug using mothers to use as a control group.

"In young mothers, 17 and 18, without NCEA qualifications, we couldn't find enough mothers who didn't use meth," Wouldes said. "Every time we'd find a mother who didn't have NCEA, she'd be using meth."

Though children of methamphetamine users were showing learning disabilities, Wouldes said it was too early to attribute it purely to the drug. "Our mothers are using more cannabis, smoking more and using meth throughout their pregnancies more than in the US," Wouldes said.

Also, alcohol was still New Zealand's biggest drug problem, she said, with 60 per cent of the methamphetamine mothers drinking through pregnancy, 13 per cent drinking "heavily".

The study also found 87 per cent smoked cigarettes and 64 per cent used marijuana while pregnant.
Ad Feedback

- Sunday Star Times

So I know our situation is different in the fact that Amalie didnt stay in the "meth scene" as I imagine these babies have as she goes against everything they have said here. Thankfully.
She is reading way above her age and spelling and writing flat out.
Go Amalie!

So a little heavy for this Tuesday but just something I am thinking about!


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Take more photos!!!


I read today on a friends facebook page to "take more photos". Her sweet little Cait passed away http://thecrazynessthatisme.blogspot.com/2010/12/cait.html and she said that the pnly family photo they have is with her in a coffin. I was so sad to read this. So often I am the one taking the photos so a) I am never in them and b) we are never all in the same photo. So today I took a photo of Amalie and I (excuse my hair - I was actually thinking it was looking awesome when I took the photo!!!) I wish I knew how to strech out the background as i think it would look better more to the side than it is!
So I also took the photo for another reason. Amalie is getting very chatty about adoption. She knows she was not in my tummy but in Erin's but I don't think she "gets" the whole concept. I had made a simple book for Oliver with photo pages saying things like "Here is Mummy" "Here is Sarah. She is my birth mother-mum" etc so I plan to make Amalie one tomorrow.
School holidays start tomorrow. Oh my house will be trashed!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Tuesdays around the world - cleaning out my wallet


So today I was cleaning out my wallet. Now I do this often enough that I was so surprised with what was in there. A little something I had forgotten about. So amongst a receipt for a Wiggles car we no longer own (I know I said I clean it out regularly not sure why I am holding on to that!) A photo of Jenifer Love Hewitt's hairstyle from Garfield that I love, a picture of a tattoo I am sure I will never get but maybe one day I will.... I found this.
A piece of white paper, folded only once.
It reads:


To my dearest baby

The day is drawing closer until we meet. I think about it all the time and I wonder where you are.
I pray for you daily and your birthmum. I pray she is taking care of herself, for that takes care of you.
I want her mind to be at ease as she relises that this is the best thing to do for you. I know she loves you and I will never doubt that but we love you too and we need you here with us.

I wonder what you look like? I know you won't have my hair or your daddy's eyes but you will still be very much a part of us.
It's exciting to think you will soon be with us. I can't wait to be your Mummy. I love you very much, and we will see each other very soon.

Love always

Mummy

I wish it had a date on it but I am picking it was from around 2001/2.
Oliver came to us December 2002 and then Amalie in September 2006.

What a special find.....

Friday, January 7, 2011

Its open again!

In 2006, Adoptions between New Zealand and Russia were suspended. Russia had concerns due to uncertainties with the process. Finally, yesterday they came to an agreement and now New Zealanders can start the process of inter country adoption with Russia. And although Russia is not part of the Hague Convention on inter country adoptions the arrangement they have decided on meets the Hague standards.



This is music to many couples ears!
My husbands cousin is adopted from Russia. It was a very long and tedious process but the result is so worth it. We were lucky enough to have been able to adopt easily enough within New Zealand. I am unsure if we would have gone done the Russian road if we had too.

So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgment anymore.
But lately I've been thinking,
Cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.


If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I'd find,
Was if this child was yours.



And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.


This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I'm not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings,
And I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.


And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.



Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Amalie's 4 years at OneTrueMedia.com

I can't believe its been 4 years!
4 years since we drove 2 hours with our fingers crossed so tightly for her to be ours
4 years since I hugged Erin and promised I would keep her baby safe
4 years since we stayed in that motel but didn't sleep for more than an hour
4 years since Muffin Break charged us $25 for a muffin without us knowing till we got home!
4 years since we waited in our car for over 2 hours outside an address, waiting for the phone to ring to say she was ours
4 years since we sat in that car with a 3 1/2 year old in the back asking every 5 mins "When do we get Baby Amalie"
4 years since I ran to that door and burst through it to see a very special lady holding our daughter

Its been 4 years. And everyday I am thankful

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Welcome baby Cameron!!!

Our friends Trent and Jeanette adopted a baby boy last night! Yahoo! A baby brother for Jess

So exciting...its getting harder and longer to adopt in NZ. When we adopted the "stats" were 1 baby to every 3 couples now I think it would be at leat 1 baby to 15 couples - so sad.

Photos to come soon hopefully!!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Our Adoption....

So we were in a magazine a few months ago about our adoption so I thought I would post the story here too...

As a young couple 24/25yrs, we didn't think there would be a problem having children but after months of trying we discovered that we were unable to have children and so chose to go down the adoption path. We did not want to do IVF - and that was our choice - not the same for everyone.
We did our course, who knew I had to learn about this stuff! And we researched heaps on what adoption would be like.
We sat back and waited. And waited. 13 months past. Oh I know, why dont I enroll in a course, great idea!!! Then.....

The phone call that changed our lives forever came on the 12 November 2002. Greg was on his way to a school camp and I was in the middle of a maths lesson with 5 year olds and I heard the words you always wanted to hear "There's a baby for us!"
Holy Crap!!! Is this a good idea!

Oliver was due the 10th December 2002. We met both his birthparents and his birth Grandmother a month before hand. It was all very over whelming and we had decided to keep it as a secret - not telling our families until the day we bought him home. Of course Oliver was over due but on the 17th December he was delivered my cesarean straight into my arms. Something that I am so thankful for - to be at his birth was amazing.

The days that followed were filled with lots of secret visits to the maternity ward to see our darling baby and then on the 30th December we could bring him home. It was all way to emotional as we thanked and hugged his birth parents. There are no words to describe our gratitude to them. We drove all the way back to my parents house to surprise them - WOW were they surprised. The months that followed were great. We had frequent visits with Oliver's birth family and he just fitted into our lives like he had always been there.

When Oliver turned 3 we decided to have another go and put our names back in the pool. We were not expecting a response so soon and had booked a holiday for 3 to Rarotonga. Could we be taking a 4th member of our family away too?
Amalie May was born on the 28th August 2006. We met her when she was 4 days old and just longed to take her there and then!! On the 8th August we made the 2 and half hour drive to collect her. It was amazing. Again we hadn't told our families so the whole way home we were on the phone ringing them and sharing our good news.

We have contact with Amalie's birth mother via emails which is wonderful. We send her photos and updates of Amalie's milestones. Unfortunately due to NZ laws (damn you NZ courts) we were unable to take her to Rarotonga so we change our tickets and all 4 of us went when she was 4 months old!! An had an amazing time together as a family.

We will be forever thankful to our children's birth families. If it wasn't for them we would be childless an never know how much love we still had to give. They will always hold a very special place in our hearts.
View this montage created at One True Media
My Montage 10/20/09



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Happy Amalie Day!


Amalie came to our family 3 years ago today!
We love you baby girl! You have changed our lives so much. There is not a day go by when we are not thankful that you are part of our family...forever!!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My baby girl...Amalie May



So I have been totally obsessed with another persons blog (sorry Kristin!!) I am amazed how different and intense the adoption process is for inter-country adoptions. Its not something we looked into but Greg's cousin is adopted from Russia so we new a little bit. Unfortunately New Zealand has now been declined anymore adoptions from Russia. Crazy.

So with Amalie's 3rd birthday coming up (OH MY GOODNESS SHE IS GOING TO BE 3) I have really been thinking about how our darling came into our lives.

!8th August 2006 we got rung by our Adoption worker (note I am in the staffroom for morning tea) She says there is a baby due for us but there were conditions EEEEEKKK.
Our new baby was due in 10 days and she had been exposed to "P".
I cant think what I did next apart from tell Greg and run home to ring our family Doctor " Tell me all you know about "P babies" Thankfully he had just done a paper on it and knew enough to calm my fears as Amalie's BM had only taken P once during her pregnancy in the first few weeks.

the next few days are a blur and on the 30th August our Adoption worker rung again to say she had been born on the 28th and was super healthy!!!

Ok so long story short of meeting her on the 4th September (terrible fuzzy photos posted) and then waiting not very patiently on the 8th September to bring her home.

I have just re read through her little "diary" written by her caregiver. So cute saying she was up watching the All Blacks play South Africa!!!!

She amazes me everyday - and I am excited to be planning her 3rd birthday which has a Pussy cat theme!!!